How are the mighty fallen

I remember very clearly a day from Alex's infancy when I went to a giant garage sale sponsored by our local Mothers of Twins group. One of the women working the sale was talking to her friend about solids. Her 9-month-old babies just loved macaroni and cheese, she said. She cooked up a box of it and whizzed it in the blender and they scarfed it right down.

I remember the speedy ascent of my inner eyebrows, my disdain for the idea that you might feed boxed macaroni and cheese to an infant.

Twelve years later, I have mellowed considerably on the topic of boxed macaroni and cheese. It is, in fact, a regular feature at lunch on Saturdays -- for people over the age of 1, at any rate. Yesterday I meant to scoop some plain noodles out for Stella but it slipped my mind. "Can't you just give her some anyway?" Elwood asked.

I said, "Of course not." But she really really wanted some. She was staring at that macaroni, and reaching for it, and so I gave her a noodle. I was hoping she would drop it, but she did not. She wanted more.

Lissa wrote this post that made me say, "Oh, yes, exactly." The contrast between the number of books I read to Alex when he was four and the number of books I am reading to Pete at four -- it's dramatic. The standards to which I held myself then -- let's just say I have revised them downward. And on Saturday, handing my baby yet another noodle coated with fake cheese and yellow #5, I distinctly felt the disapproving shade of Alex's mother in my dining room.

Comments

[Lilian]

What a beautiful post you linked to! I should read Melissa, although that would mean hours and hours spend reading her archives (sigh). We still don't do boxed mac'n cheese here (I don't mean to sound self- righteous or anything -- the boys have eaten their share of this meal at IKEA [it used to cost 99 cents! With juice!], and I'm glad they don't care for it as much anymore!

You know, those of you who are brave enough to have many children should be gentler on yourselves. I imagine it must be hard to look back to "Alex's mother" or "Jane's mother."

[Sarah]

Can I ever relate to this!

We just had a NICU follow up w/ Henry and he was a bit behind where he was supposed to be. The neonatologist was using some pretty interesting language to talk about it and I'll admit is got me a little nervous. (I even went to a kids' consignment shop and bought a used shape sorter!) Anyway, I called my own doctor to get some context on their evaluation and she described his results as typical, even good, for a third child.

I can't say I'm relieved, but it was good to hear that I'm not the only mommy putting story time and block stacking on the back burner while dinner sits on the front one.

In the end, if he avoids living a life of crime, I will be satisfied. It's all about priorities, right?

[rachel]

Read your post in the morning, and now it's evening and I'm still wondering about your tone: is it rueful? A bit wiser than Alex's mother? It's odd, because I went back and read MW's post, and (I think) I'm clear on what she's saying - but not with you. And it's bothering me to the point of exposing my (pathetic?) need for clarifications. Is the downward-revision of standards a necessary - let's not say evil, but reality - or welcome lightening? Please allow me to stop overanalyzing (by giving in to it, of course)...

[Jamie]

Hi, Rachel, the tone was ambivalent, which is probably why it was hard to figure out. (Yet another post where I clicked "publish" and sprinted upstairs to a fussing baby.) I miss some things about Alex's mom, like her zeal. Some things I am glad to have left behind -- I hope I am less disdainful these days. It's all tied up with my ambivalence about staying home. That might be a post of its own if I can claw my way out of grading purgatory this week.

Nice to know someone on the other side of the world was thinking of me today. :-) I am cooking a roast with the last of my dried limes tonight.

[Renee]

As I like to say, the comparison with baby #1 and #8, I don't know if I am wiser, or more tired, but I venture to guess some of both.