Hamster Wheel, Paused

Stella and I made the trek to campus today, and it was a good trip. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my advisor? I love love LOVE my advisor. She is A-OK with the fact that my baby and I are a package deal at this point. She doesn't mind if I keep Stella nearby during meetings with students. She is happy to schedule phone meetings to talk about my dissertation, or if I am coming to town she is willing to walk around campus while we talk, so that the baby can watch squirrels instead of eating computer cables in her office.

Today we took some time to talk about my mental hamster wheel, and she said, "What's most important is what you want to do. Not what your husband wants, or what your mother wants, or what I might expect. What would you like your life to look like next year?"

I told her that if the half-time post-doc were local, I would jump on it. The commute worries me, though. It's hard on my family if I'm away more than one day a week.

And do you know what she said? She said, "I don't see why we would expect more face time of a half-time post-doc than we would of a full-time doctoral student. It depends on who's mentoring you, of course, but I think one day a week on campus would be fine."

One day a week I could do. Maybe Elwood would go back to working 4 ten-hour days each week, or maybe I would take Stella along with me. I know some mothers in that community and I'm optimistic about finding a home where she could play while I was in the office. Post-doc positions are flexible enough that I could bop over and nurse her down at naptime.

Funny that a ten-minute conversation could leave me feeling so much calmer.

Comments

[rachel]

Yay and hooray.

[Jenny]

Wow, I love NaBloPoMO! We have so much to catch up on!

[Lilian]

I hope it all works out for you. I mean, whatever ends up happening -- either the faculty position or the postdoc. Better than nothing, which is what I have (and you still have your practice to lean on as needed, right? Humanities fields really suck. If one doesn't teach, one can't do anything. and I don't like teaching that much -- I should have gone to a different field).