The Wheel Squeaks Reluctantly

This afternoon I dropped off a letter to the principal, complaining about a lunch monitor's discipline strategy. His response to a minor squabble: take away Joe's recess and ignore the--

--oops. Hit publish accidentally instead of saving as a draft. Here's the bullet point version of what was a much longer post in my head:

• If you keep a kindergarten student inside sitting still all day, you will have one squirrelly kid.
• If the goal of your discipline strategy is to encourage better behavior, you shouldn't do something that will set a kid up for further behavior problems later.
• If two kids are involved in a brief tussle (a kid grabbed Joe's shirt and Joe tried to pull away while he held on), it is unjust and counterproductive to take away recess for the kid who responded (while nothing happens to the kid who initiated).
• To someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder, taking away a kid's chance to play in the sun during the dreariest part of the year seems entirely unreasonable.

But:

• I have major baggage about disagreeing with people at the school.
• Last year I had enormous angst about telling Marty's first-grade teacher that we needed to modify a homework assignment because it was making Marty cry every night.
• First-graders shouldn't cry over their homework.
• That's for grad students only.
• And especially not (back to first-graders here) their reading homework, when I think the major goal of first grade should be to foster a love of reading.
• And FOR THE LOVE OF PETE not reading homework written by people who hadn't read the book. For real. Worksheet questions with no answer, clearly cranked out by someone skimming through without paying attention.
• But I still feel a little defensive about suggesting an alternate plan, esp. since the teacher wasn't happy about it. Better for Marty to stick with the program and cry over badly written questions, I guess?
• Maybe sometime I will post about first grade, because that teacher drove me a little nuts. For instance: if you have a left-handed kid in your class who isn't cutting neatly, do you think maybe it is prudent to see if he does better with left-handed scissors before you send home a note saying, "Marty needs to work on his cutting skills!"? For the record, he cuts just fine with left-handed scissors.

And:

• I have been thinking all year about the complicated question of educating kids.
• I'm not thrilled with public school.
• We're thinking about our parish school, but Alex says he doesn't want to go (too much homework, according to the boys in his Webelo den) and he's being pretty noisy about it.
• He doesn't, obviously, get to decide but he knows how to make a decision complicated.
• There's so much that's good about homeschooling.
• Except for the exhausting parts.
• The boys, Alex especially, reminisce fondly about homeschooling.
• But I just don't think I can juggle being ABD and homeschooling without burning myself right out.
• So I don't know what to do, which is why I meant to save this as a draft.
• But it's a safe bet that it would never have left my draft folder.
• Ergo, bullets.

I just invited eight people to come with their children and have cake and coffee. This means I should go make a cake.

ETA: My note to the principal wasn't "How dare they take away recess from my precious angel son!" Joe needed a better reaction to the other kid, and I know the lunch monitor has a tough job. I wrote the letter because this is the second time Joe has lost his entire recess over what seems to me like a minor infraction. This is a strategy that will only make life harder for his teacher in the afternoon: Joe is better at sitting still and being quiet if he has some time to run around outside.

Comments

[Jody]

Oh ACK.

Beyond encouraging you to squeak LOUDLY, I don't know what else to say. School is hard enough without asinine homework and idiotic counter-productive discipline strategies.

Ack.

[Tracy]

I don't like rocking the boat either, but in my experience, not talking to them leads to nothing good, and talking to them often leads to something better.

I applaud your efforts to get what your son needs. I often consider returning to homeschooling. In so many ways, it would suit us better. But in so many ways, public school has served our needs better too. I wish I could have the best of both!

[pnuts mama]

i think all the time what a giant PITA i will be when pnut (and bean!) get to school- as a religious educator, i'll be even worse with whatever catechetical instruction they receive, i'm sure. my poor kids, they'll probably stop telling me when there's a problem just to avoid the embarrassment of mama charging up there to care for her young. sigh.

that said, i *do* think it will be more difficult for me for a few reasons- mostly b/c i have the background in ed now and know what's cool and what isn't. i have no patience for BS, either, or folks who are just enjoying tenure til retirement.

i don't know what i'll do- public or parish, i know i won't send our kids to our parish school b/c as the person who YM's their graduates i am appalled by what these poor kids don't know, especially w/ regard to their faith. don't get me started on the rest! however, our public schools aren't super hot here either. it's a tough choice that i am glad we have a few more years on.

and FWIW, my husband is a lefty and uses lefty scissors with ease. he had his own pair in school, i think. how can left-handedness still be an issue in 2007?

[Renee]

Not to belittle your angst, but whenever I start thinking that if I sent my kids to a "real" school, life would be a breeze, something like this pops up to remind me that there isn't any easy way out of parenting and educating your children.

Hope all turns out well!

[Stephen]

I know it's the exact opposite of homeschool, but: Alex is only a year younger than I was when I learned about the American Boychoir.

(PS I FIGURED OUT YOUR PSEUDONYM CODE AND I'M USING IT TOO AREN'T I SMRT)

[CJ]

Hi, Steve, you are very smart. American Boychoir isn't the opposite of homeschooling at all: there's a close connection in the idea of smallish groups of boys getting focused attention to teach them how to run with their gifts (and, incidentally, learn lots of other things that may or may not be their gifts). Was it painful to go back to small-town public junior high afterward?

[Stephen]

From the stories we've both told, it was less painful for me to go back after two years away than it was for you to go straight through. I had my couple of fights, but no one set me on fire.

I hadn't considered the idea that homeschool and a boarding school might be similar might be similar in attention-paid-per-kid. Learning how to be independent was a much bigger part of my overall experience, and being away from home was a big factor in that.