My two oldest sons are in school for the first time this year, in fourth and first grades, and the transition has gone pretty well. They find the work easy but not boring, and the social adjustment has been smooth. But I am annoyed just now. More to the point, I am BUGged.
The kids get BUG slips when they are Being Unusually Good. They can cash in BUG slips for prizes, and this is the source of my annoyance. On Friday my oldest, Alex, came home and announced that he had collected a bag of candy at morning assembly, followed by four different prizes (he chose four different suckers, which he ate in rapid succession) from one of his teachers.
So of course I'm glad he's succeeding. Of course I'm glad the teachers want to encourage success. But I'm worried about his teeth and I'm wondering if no one at school has heard about the childhood obesity crisis and philosophically I'm way over on the Alfie Kohn side of the spectrum when it comes to thinking about motivation. (I can't link directly to the article, but you can go to this page and scroll down to the "Parenting Magazines" section to read an article called "The Case Against Gold Stars" if you're so inclined.)
My MIL was here on Friday and she was outraged. I should write to the principal, she thinks. I should complain vociferously. I'm not convinced. But I'm still bugged.
Interesting website. I read a lot of the articles - and while I'm not quite sure I agree, it's definitely something to think about. I would be concerned about the sugar issue for sure. Four suckers in one day makes me cringe.
Just curious - why did you decide against homeschooling this year?
Posted by: crazybeautifullife.blogsome.com | October 22, 2006 at 09:58 AM
I've had people think I'm kinda of weird because I don't plan on rewarding my kids for a lot of stuff. My parents just expected us to get good grades, work up to our potential, contribute to society. It wasn't a question of doing it for a cookie (or sucker). I plan on doing the same thing with my kids: minimal rewards. Will you post more about your parenting style in this respect and how you deal with situations where a lot of people would use a reward for motivation?
Posted by: Linda | October 22, 2006 at 01:45 PM
On the one hand, it's better than the "name on the board with checks" system of negative reinforcement that they used when I was in grade school (holy public humiliation, Batman!). On the other hand "being unusually good?" the hell? And CANDY of all things? Ugh. I feel your outrage!
By the way, I'm so glad you sent me a link to your new site. :) I'm glad to see you blogging again!
Posted by: Lisa Cl | October 22, 2006 at 04:09 PM
This seems like a bad idea on 2 levels. First, CANDY? Gah. That's just trouble. Second, it seems like, by its very nature, BUG slips should be few and far between. I mean, if you get a lot of these, then you are not being Unusually Good, you are being Usually Good. Therefore you should not be getting a ton of these things. I'd call the principal or someone.
Posted by: mary | October 22, 2006 at 04:44 PM
That would Bug me too. I am not thrilled with some of the reward systems at the schools my children attend as well. Some have been better than others. I like recognizing good behavior, but unfortunately, I don't think that it works as an incentive for those it needs to be an incentive for! (poor grammar, sorry).
Glad to hear that the transition has been going as smoothly as possible. It's certainly not an easy time.
Posted by: Tracy | October 22, 2006 at 09:40 PM
So is it some kind of test, to see if the Unusually Good child can keep it up after a dose of sugar and food coloring? And what do they get for passing that challenge? ;)
I hear you about the teeth and rewards concerns. Tough call.
My former state Senator up in MA was writing a bill to limit the number of times fluffernutter sandwiches could be served for lunch at public schools--see, you just have to get elected and impose your sugar concerns from above!
Posted by: mandaum | October 23, 2006 at 08:54 PM
AAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.
The motivations system sucks. The candy sucks. The whole thing sucks.
ARGH.
Our class does the Hogwarts-style "earn marbles for the class treat jar" system. They used to have a board with little suns, up in the sky and down to the ground, so the kids could see whose son was always stuck down on the grass. Nightmare!
Posted by: Jody | October 24, 2006 at 10:56 AM
CBL and Linda: posts to come on why we're not homeschooling and parenting with less emphasis on rewards.
Mandamum, maybe I should count my blessings that fluffernutters don't appear on the school lunch menu here?
Posted by: CJ | October 25, 2006 at 08:39 AM
We do the name and checks systerm here, but when we have had exceptional behavior from my oldest (who struggles the most) the teacher has occaisioned a note. I like that. I would not like persistant reward giving for behavior that should be expected.
Schools will make you crazy. Try to figure out when it is time to draw a line in the sand and when you need to just donate 100 "Way to go!" pencil and eraser sets.
Posted by: Lauren | October 25, 2006 at 02:58 PM